The Energetics of Exchange: Honoring the Flow of Giving and Receiving

Reclaiming value, boundaries, and balance in healing relationships.

I’ve been sitting with something that comes up often in this work—something tender and sometimes uncomfortable. It has to do with value, exchange, and the assumptions people make when it comes to spiritual or intuitive services. I want to share a bit of my perspective—not to call anyone out, but to call in more understanding around how I navigate this work with integrity.

Over the years, I’ve been approached by people—some who knew me in another season of life, others who are simply drawn to the healing and intuitive gifts I offer—who expect to receive this work for free.

They might say:
"But you’re gifted—shouldn’t you want to share it?"
"I’m in a hard place—you should be able to help me."
"We used to be close—can’t you just do a quick session?"

I understand where this comes from. Truly, I do. Life is full of moments when we’re reaching out, hoping someone will say, I’ve got you. And in some cases, I do offer support freely—when it feels aligned, when it arises from choice rather than expectation.

But I also need to be clear: this is my profession.

I’ve spent over eight years investing in my growth, training, and practice as a healer. From five-week intensives to five-year-long programs, I’ve paid for the classes, made the time, and done the deep inner work to grow my capacity and integrity in this field.

Even though this work is spiritual and energetic, it’s still a craft—a professional skill I’ve trained in for years. Just like any other field, it asks for commitment, refinement, and exchange.

I don’t hold others to make the same investments I have. But if you’re coming to me for guidance, healing, or learning, there is a level of value you need to bring into the space with you. That might look like financial exchange, clear intention, or a genuine willingness to show up fully.

Because I’m not just giving advice from the heart or offering friendly support—I’m working from the center of my head, often referred to as the third eye. This place allows me to remain in neutrality, no matter what someone is moving through. It’s what lets me hold space without getting entangled in your energy or personal story, even when I care deeply. It’s a skill, a discipline, and a practice I’ve cultivated.

And sometimes, I do feel called to give.

There was a moment not long ago where I saw someone—another practitioner, actually—moving through something heavy. I could see the energy they were working with, and I knew I could help. We had no personal relationship, but I reached out and offered them a free 30-minute session, no strings attached. I felt truly aligned in doing so.

The session was powerful. They moved through a lot. They experienced real, tangible shifts and expressed deep gratitude. They even told me how surprised they were at how quickly things changed after the reading. I shared my info, and let them know that if they ever wanted to book again, they were welcome to.

Instead of booking a session, they offered me an exchange. Now, I’m sure they’re skilled in what they do, and I don’t doubt the value of their work—but I wasn’t called to receive it. Not because I didn’t respect it, but because I didn’t needit. I already work within a community of teachers where I’m engaged in regular, reciprocal exchange. My cup in that area is full.

When I kindly declined the trade, they became angry. They pulled away from the experience we’d shared and disconnected from the healing they had just received. It was painful and a bit shocking—to see another healing practitioner treat our exchange as transactional or conditional, and to witness how quickly gratitude was replaced by control when they didn’t get what they wanted in return.

There were so many dynamics at play. The truth is: they couldn’t control how they had to receive. That’s okay. Control is just another energy. But it did block them from receiving further support—and perhaps that’s exactly what needed to happen. I trust that. Still, I couldn’t help but feel the loss of what could have grown. Maybe even a friendship. Maybe a deeper transformation.

Instead, I was left with clarity: I don’t give in order to receive. I give because it feels good to give—because something in me says yes to showing up. That’s how this experience began. But it reminded me how important it is to stay in alignment, to give without attachment, and to stand in the truth of my boundaries and my worth.

Sometimes other practitioners approach me only willing to trade services instead of pay. I actually love a good, clean exchange—when the energy is right, and it feels reciprocal. But because I already work within a school where I do frequent exchanges with other teachers, I often don’t seek additional trades outside that container. And that’s okay to name.

The same goes for teaching. Many people want to learn what I know—and I love that! But if someone wants to be taught without committing to a class, without honoring the structure or the exchange, it starts to bypass the value of the work. Learning something spiritually meaningful without offering anything in return can block the very integration they’re hoping for.

Energetic exchange is part of the learning. It’s part of the healing.
When you invest in your process, you’re saying: I’m ready. I’m willing to meet this work with value and presence.

Exchange is like water—it has to move in both directions to nourish. When someone receives without giving, the current becomes blocked. And when we give only from obligation, the well can run dry. But when it flows both ways, it becomes something sacred.

If you’ve ever caught yourself hesitating to pay for spiritual work—or feeling unsure why it costs what it does—maybe pause and ask:
What is the value I place on my own growth?
What would it mean to honor someone else’s path the way I hope mine will be honored?

If you’ve ever expected something for free, or offered trade where it wasn’t aligned—know that you’re not alone. These patterns are common in healing spaces, and they can be healed too. The beauty of conscious exchange is that it doesn’t just support the practitioner—it supports you in stepping into your own readiness, your own value.

This work is valuable.
I am valuable.
And so are you.

Let’s co-create a culture that honors spiritual practice the way we honor any skilled profession—with respect, with care, and with a shared understanding of value.